Bloggin on down the Rogue

Singles Ad

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I' m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting..

Please scroll down ......

 

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society...

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Hell explained by a chemistry student

I received this in email. This was a ROFL moment. I googled it to try to give proper attribution. This has gone viral and is all over the net via email, over 79,000 listings on google.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we ca n expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

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Golf Humor

You may not get some or all of these if you are not a golfer. These are making the tour via email. No author was listed.

These are like the Murphy's Laws of Golf
but Murph didn't carry it this far! ;)

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt. . . for a 10.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10 per cent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 per cent of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take up the game at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball . . . if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; I.e., back-swing 20 m.p.h., handicap 15, downswing = 300 m.p.h.

One of my personal favourites:

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, your's is in the footprint

It's easier to get up at 6:00 A.M. to play golf than at 10 a.m. to mow the yard

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are. That's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, and eat hot dogs if you are performing Brain Surgery!

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Obamessiah's Energy Plan

Obamessiah's Energy Plan

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A little humor (very little so run with it)

Check out this web page... how is Yahoo allowing this to stay up? Amazing!

http://yahoorezinr.com/

and if they should make it disapear, here is a cache copy of the page

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The lost ball, a golf story

A Golf Story

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to you?

'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole; we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's ass.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!'

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

'I don't remember much after that '

The Broken Lawn Mower

The Broken Lawn Mower...

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is usually the husband. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the car, the motorcycle, e-mail, and other stuff, always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

"When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the driveway."

......The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

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A midweek howler - A spammer named Algor

Here is a spam email that struck me funny. This must be how Algore is supporting himself besides his global warming fraud.

The originating IP is here stateside, not overseas.

From: "Phillip A." <opec_info15@yahoo.com> (98.136.44.32 - United States Sunnyvale Yahoo)

Subject: OPEC

Good day,

I want you to patiently read this offer.I am Dr. Phillip Algor. The Assistant to the Head of Delegation to the World Bank in Europe.I am the link man between the Organization For Petroleum Exporting Countries - OPEC and the petroleum sector in the European countries. I also attend OPEC meetings constantly in Vienna, Austria on the auspices of World Bank.Through the sale of our allocated oil quota in OPEC, I was able to make a large sum of money (millions us dollars), which is currently deposited in a Security company in Europe.

I want you to assist me to claim this money as I cannot claim it directly because I am still a civil servant, and the code of conduct bureau forbids me to acquire such amount of money. It is on this basis that I am contacting you for assistance.If interested, claimed documents with which the fund is deposited will be re processed and changed to reflect you as the new beneficiary so that you will be eligible to collect the fund on my behalf.I will give you 30% of the fund for this assistance, while 60% will be for me and 10% will be for expenses that may be incurred on both sides.

I am aware of the international monitoring of all large-scale financial movements after the September 11Th 2001 terrorist attack on America and to avoid any state of financial investigation I will provide a classified clearance paper from the relevant body which will exonerate the money from either drug, money laundered or terrorist related proceeds.Note that This information is also open for scrutiny and I also assure you that there is no risk attached in this transaction.

Please if interested,provide me with your private telephone and fax numbers for easier communication.

Best Regard. Dr. Phillip Algor.

Moebama, HilLarry, or Curleycain... which stooge to elect?

Regardless of how successful the outcome of the Rush Limbaugh authored and fueled Operation Chaos, we are going to wind up with one of these three stooges as president.

Regardless who wins we lose!

...........................The Three Stooges.............................

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Attention Hillary: I nominate Debbie Stabenow for your Veep

Now that Debbie has joined the Philandering Husband Club, she can sympathize with Hillary and her cheatin' horn dog, der Schlickmeister.

Maybe they can play it for the synpathy vote...

Naw, never work out on the streets of reality. Sympathy is right between shit and syphillis in the street lexicon dictionary.

Cross posted from Michigan Messenger

Stabenow's husband could be called as witness against prostitute

by: Alexa Stanard

Thursday (04/03) at 08:20 AM

A sex scandal has thrust another prominent Michigan politician into the unwanted limelight -- only this time, the politician is a woman and it's the spouse that's got some explaining to do.

Tom Athans, 46, the husband of U.S. Sen. Debbie Stabenow, was snagged by Troy police during a prostitution sting Feb. 26, it was revealed Wednesday.

The co-founder and former CEO of Democracy Radio and former executive vice president of the liberal Air America radio network was stopped by undercover officers after leaving a room at the Residence Inn, where he paid 20-year-old prostitute Alycia Martin $150 for oral sex, according to the police report.

Stabenow, a prominent Democrat who is two years into her current six-year term in the Senate, said in a statement that the report that her husband had paid a prostitute for sex "is very disturbing and serious. Obviously it's a deeply difficult and personal matter."

Athans, who married Stabenow in 2003, on Wednesday issued his own statement that said: "No words can fully express how sorry I am. At the time this incident occurred, I took responsibility for my actions and fully cooperated with law enforcement. My family and I are dealing with this matter in a personal and private way."

["No words can fully express how sorry I am..." said Tom Athans. - Yeah, that he got caught! Now he gets to face the wrath of Debbie!]

Police did not arrest Athans, who quickly agreed to cooperate after police pulled him over on northbound I-75 just north of Square Lake Road. Troy Police Lt. Gerard Scherlinck said the department typically does not arrest johns who agree to cooperate, in the hopes of busting prostitution rings and nabbing those who run them.

"This individual was completely cooperative, completely honest," he said in reference to Athans. "This person was treated no differently than any other individual that would have been stopped during one of these investigations."

After nabbing Athans, the department published information about the incident in its daily crime sheet, but without names, Scherlinck said.

"Then all of a sudden yesterday afternoon we got numerous calls based on tips," he said. "We were not the source of this story. Our position needs to be really clear - we didn't divulge any names or relationships."

The police report was released in response to Freedom of Information Act requests by the media. Under FOIA, the public has the right to information about the case because it's considered closed, Scherlinck said.

Athans will be called as a witness if the matter goes to trial. Martin has been arraigned. After being released, Troy police issued Athans a ticket for driving with a suspended license.

[VERY interesting... he was picked up in a prostitution sting and driving on a suspended license, and he only gets a harsh word as a penalty by agreeing to give a critique of the whores oral prowess. Who knows, the prosecutor may want to make an appointment later? Just goes to show that political connections rule in the state of Michigan, especially if your frau is a US Senartor.]

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Tiger Woods at Doral

At Doral, Tiger had to make a visit to a course Porta-Jon and he received a standing ovation coming out. WEIRD!

But it makes you wonder what will turn up on ebay next!

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Singles Ad

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I' m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting..

Please scroll down ......

 

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society...

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Democrat Angst: How to get Michigan Primary Votes to count?

I have been giving this some thought and have a solution!

They could hold the election through Ticketmaster and celebrate the results with a concert (entertainers and location to be announced).

A few liberal billionaires will love this. They can then directly buy votes for their favorite candidates. The Democrats have been looking for ways to buy votes. Here it is! This is called voting your wallet. Unless Jon Stryker buys them all up, do you think this could cause the lowest vote total in Michigan history?

 

OR

 

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The blond golfer

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round

of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman

carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the memberwho

brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him

away and asked the trio whether she can join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I work in a

topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to

smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything

that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But I enjoy

playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on

how to play my shots."

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball

on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the

middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he said. The blonde put

her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it, and I have faded it

a little." After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the

blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the

hole (She was closest to the pin.) The son said, "Damn, lady, you played

that perfectly."

The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak, but even an easy seven

would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt."

She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the hell out

of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the

fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys,

quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had

a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want to thank you all for

not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or

how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to

break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on

this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single

Malt Strathmill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a

very good time the rest of the night.

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green,

carefully eying the line of the putt and finally said, "Honey, aim about 6

inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that

little hump and break right into the cup.

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb.

Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the

right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the

cup.

The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it

up and handed it to her and said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart."

The blonde smiled and said, "Your car or mine?"

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The Prize Patrol got lost again...

...on the way to deliver my big prize and instead gave it to some guy in Omaha.  

  

 

Yuppers... instead of coming by my home, they go to...

Prize Patrol brings million-dollar surprise to Omaha man

http://www.omaha.com/ index.php?u_page= 2798&u_sid= 10271437

On an extraordinary day - Leap Day, Feb. 29 - Jack Genners got an extraordinary surprise - a $1 million check from the Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol.

And I had been practicing for weeks in my best falsetto voice, "Oh Toto, now I really know its true..."

...oops wrong script.  

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A Yooper Hotrod

Here is an image I was sent in email. It sure looks like a fun ride.

 

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I've had it up to here...

 

...kinda says it all!

Are you have a tough day today?

This was received in email:

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson~ Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer Quality Control Department at Johnson & Johnson."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS

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McCain completes this set

A cartoon worth a thousand words from the San Diego Union's Steve Breen

 

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Sean Hannity's McCain flim-flam

Sean Hannity spent an hour absolutely alienating his listeners. For an hour, he did a flip and supported EVERYTHING that McCain is for. I felt ill. That hour was like a kick in the gut. It was a blind side punch from an unexpected direction. Sean, I was ready to lump you with the likes of Medved, a panderer of the McCain mold, and Tony Snow, whom I thought was a conservative until he became an official Bush apologist for amnesrty.

Sean pulled a Limbaugh on us. Remember when Rush did his famous flop to supporting Slick Willy as an exercise in absurdity, and many listeners bought it. It was so bizarre that I had to listen and marvel that Rush could do it without laughing out loud in the first ten minutes.

Sean, you very nearly lost me as a listener.

I can laugh now but I was FURIOUS!

It is 4:45pm and I am listening to the REAL Conservative Sean Hannity. I'm sorry I doubted you.

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Hotlinkers are at it again

A real nut job whacko conspiracy theorist, Tom Heneghan from Williston South Dakota, has decided to try to link to an image in one of my messages and has been bitten by my little protector that swaps in a substitute image. What he is getting is an image that says Tom Heneghan Bandwidth Thief. He refuses to take it down, showing what a total idiot he really is. He is a really prolific whacko from what I turned up on him on Google. Look like he has been off his medications for some time.

UPDATE: He JUST NOW (5:00 pm EST) took the hotlinked image offline but posted the URL to the image so this is one very determined head case.

UPDATE: The hardass decided to try again to steal bandwidth. He is an experiencd thief. Just look at his page and all the stolen images using other web pages bandwidth. He is a THIEF pure and simple and as much of a crook as are spammers. Almost all of his other images are hotlinked from other sources and he seems to think that he can do this while we just take it. WRONG!

Hey Tom... No the NSA did not hack my blog. You are a hotlinking bandwidth thief. When you hotlink to an image at a site other than a commercial image hosting site, you are giving the affected webmaster free license to post any image we choose in your name under your byline. Think it over and don't be an ass.

Normally I just let these things die, but this guy is such a nut job that it is almost laughable to see what his fevered mind has whipped up. Since he is posting my URL, I will reciprocate.

http://blog.myspace.com/tom_heneghan_intel

Whoa... get back. Tom Heneghan is a hard core anti-Semite and an Algore fanatic. He still believes that Algore had the election stolen from him. His theory revolves around a Clinton- Bush- NSA- CIA- MOSSAD- Diebold conspiracy to keep Algore from his rightfull position in the White House. This brand of insanity needs a heavy canvas jacket with really long arms, and heavy sedation! All these years of paranoia and schizophrenia untreated. He has never gotten over it. WOW!

Monday January 21, 2008 - Heh heh heh... the jerkweed tossed in the towl at his MySpace page this morning. The image has been removed from there and he claims that it was all government NSA or FBI hacking, changing the image that he had hotlinked to. The image of his affections has been removed and the one you see above substituted for it. So if he links to it, it is self abuse!

However he also maintains a forum where he still claims the FBI and NSA are after him. He has a URL to the hotlinked image posted:

http://disc.yourwebapps.com/ discussion.cgi?disc= 149495;article= 116676; title=APFN

Tuesday January 22, 2008: He still has the link at the url above. I think that Tom is in South Dakota to hide from the FBI-CIA-NSA-MOSSAD.

NEWSFLASH! To Tom Heneghan: That image has been removed from any access to YOU from this site!

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Can you read this?

This was in my email inbox:

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

And check this out:

Count every ' F ' in the following text:

===

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE

SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI

FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH

THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

===

How many?

Wrong! There are 6 -- no joke.

READ IT AGAIN !

Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The brain cannot process 'OF'.

McCain

 

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Duct Tape: a million uses

And how about this?

The older we get, the better we were?

Time for a chuckle... this was received in email.

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old." Well you'll love this one.

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with a deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I am a MUSTANG." he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked. "In 1975, Why do you ask?" he replied.

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat-ass, gray haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked.....

"What did you teach?"

The Holiday Season is rapidly approaching: Some music and poems

I was over at BlackFive.net where I discovered a song written to be sung to the tune of American Pie, called Ms. American Spy about Valerie Plame. It is a hoot. He said he received it via email (author unknown) and decided to post it. I was looking for music of this sort for the Christmas holiday coming up as a comic relief to the PC crap of the left.

In comments someone passed along the author's page name and url: InTheRightPlace. blogspot. com
where he has a bunch of links to more quality entertainment of the same sort. Check it out!

Cross posted from InTheRightPlace.blogspot.com

===

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Ms. American Spy

posted by Mr. Right

In honor of the momentous events of these last few days, I channeled my inner-moonbat and came up with (dare I say it): the world's very first Fitzmas Carol! A tune destined to be sung by joyous moonbats every Fitzmas Eve as they gather around the tree and exchange gifts! I hope you enjoy it...

Ms. American Spy

(Sung to the tune of Don McLean's American Pie)

A short, short time ago

I can still remember

How the "Plame Game" used to make me smile

And as I read those D-Kos rants

I got a big bulge in my pants

And thought maybe we'd get "Chimpy" for awhile

But then June 12th made me shiver

Fate became an "Indian Giver"

Bad news on the Internet

Precisely what I had fret!

Oh, I remember how I cried

When I thought of Wilson's "outed" bride

Something deep within me fried

The day that Fitzmas died

So don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

Did you see the film Loose Change?

And do you have faith you're not deranged

Though ev'rybody tells you so?

Do you believe in "Downing Street"

The "Memo" that'll get Shrub impeached?

And can you prove Kerry won O-hi-o?

Well, I know that Diebold rigs machines

'Cause the exit polls are all I need

Vote counts are just a ruse

I'd Rather trust CBS News!

I was a lone mid-thirties ne'er do well

In my Mommy's basement on her old-school Dell

But I could have sworn I was in Hell

The day that Fitzmas died

I started singin':

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

For nearly six years, we'd been overthrown

Reading psychotic rants in Rolling Stone

Believing every conspiracy

Will Pitt had to vent his spleen

With a quote he borrowed from Howard Dean

And a scream that came from you and me

Oh, and while Chimp's polls were looking down

Fitz dropped the ball and lost his crown

The Grand Jury was adjourned

No indictment was returned

And while Markos read a book on Marx

Code Pink protested in the park

Neil Young sang dirges full of snark

The day that Fitzmas died

We were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

Bash 'em, smash 'em, gut 'em all and trash 'em

Repukes get off, seems we just can't thrash 'em

All our hopes are fading fast

Nancy's built a House of glass

Those frozen assets could bite our ass

Didn't need that freezer full of cold hard cash

Thought TruthOut's scoop meant Karl Rove's doom

We envisioned his frog-marching gloom

Our cause it would advance

Oh, but we never got the chance

'Cause Leopold's tale was far afield

Those "business hours" refused to yield

Do you recall "Sealed Versus Sealed"?

The day that Fitzmas died

We started singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

Oh, and there we were all in one place

Moonbats lost in cyberspace

With no chads left to count again

So come on, Fitz be nimble, Fitz be quick

Indict some Rethug and make it stick

'Cause indifference is the fascists' only friend

And as I watched him on the news

My lips were clenched 'round some cheap booze

But no drink the store would sell

Could break Bushitler's spell

And as the "Plame Game" died out in the light

To cheers from the "Religious Right"

I saw Freepers laughing with delight

The day that Fitzmas died

We were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

I met a girl who'd popped some 'ludes

And I asked her to improve my mood

But she told me that she was gay

I went down to the DU board

Where I'd read the good news weeks before

But the threads there said the indictment wouldn't play

And in the streets Mother Sheehan screamed

Franken cried, and Al Gore schemed

No "truth to power" spoken

Air America was broken!

And the blogger I admired most

Armando from the Daily Kos

He hopped a Lear Jet for the coast

The day that Fitzmas died

And they were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

They were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly!

******************************

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2008 Democratic National Convention

I received this in my email this weekend. They say that humor contains some truth.

===

2008 Democratic National Convention -- Schedule of Events

by Larry Lee

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning

7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N.

7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm ~ How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning - Barney Frank presiding

8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm ~ Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ~ "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn

11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm ~ How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean

12:15 am ~ "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

Larry Lee

Hate me, if you must, Love me if you can,

You may not like where I am going, but,

You will always know, where I stand.

I AM A CONSERVATIVE! !!

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Snowball the dancing cockatoo

The link to this was sent to me in email... We have both african grey and amazon parrots in our house and we love to see what birds are doing elsewhere.

Check this out: