Bloggin on down the Rogue

Singles Ad

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I' m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting..

Please scroll down ......

 

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society...

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Hell explained by a chemistry student

I received this in email. This was a ROFL moment. I googled it to try to give proper attribution. This has gone viral and is all over the net via email, over 79,000 listings on google.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we ca n expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

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Golf Humor

You may not get some or all of these if you are not a golfer. These are making the tour via email. No author was listed.

These are like the Murphy's Laws of Golf
but Murph didn't carry it this far! ;)

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt. . . for a 10.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10 per cent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 per cent of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take up the game at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball . . . if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; I.e., back-swing 20 m.p.h., handicap 15, downswing = 300 m.p.h.

One of my personal favourites:

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, your's is in the footprint

It's easier to get up at 6:00 A.M. to play golf than at 10 a.m. to mow the yard

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are. That's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, and eat hot dogs if you are performing Brain Surgery!

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Obamessiah's Energy Plan

Obamessiah's Energy Plan

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Battle Creek, MI Air Show

See ya next year.... It was fun!

This week(end), the July 4th holiday, is when the Air show rolls out at KG Kellogg Airport in Battle Creek.

For more info: Battle Creek Airshow

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A little humor (very little so run with it)

Check out this web page... how is Yahoo allowing this to stay up? Amazing!

http://yahoorezinr.com/

and if they should make it disapear, here is a cache copy of the page

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Hypocrit Algore's Inconvenient Embarassment

From Newsmax.com:

http://www.newsmax.com/ insidecover/ gore_home_energy/ 2008/06/ 17/105394.html

Source:

http://www.tennesseepolicy.org/ main/article.php? article_id=764

Gore's Home Still Guzzling Energy

In the year since Al Gore took steps to make his home more energy-efficient, the former vice president’s home energy use surged more than 10 percent, according to the Tennessee Center for Policy Research.

“A man’s commitment to his beliefs is best measured by what he does behind the closed doors of his own home,” said Drew Johnson, President of the Tennessee Center for Policy Research. “Al Gore is a hypocrite and a fraud when it comes to his commitment to the environment, judging by his home energy consumption.”

In the past year, Gore’s home burned through 213,210 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of electricity, enough to power 232 average American households for a month.

In February 2007, "An Inconvenient Truth," a film based on a climate change speech developed by Gore, won an Academy Award for best documentary feature. The next day, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research uncovered that Gore’s Nashville home guzzled 20 times more electricity than the average American household.

After the Tennessee Center for Policy Research exposed Gore’s massive home energy use, the former Vice President scurried to make his home more energy-efficient. Despite adding solar panels, installing a geothermal system, replacing existing light bulbs with more efficient models, and overhauling the home’s windows and ductwork, Gore now consumes more electricity than before the “green” overhaul.

Since taking steps to make his home more environmentally-friendly last June, Gore devours an average of 17,768 kWh per month –1,638 kWh more energy per month than before the renovations – at a cost of $16,533. By comparison, the average American household consumes 11,040 kWh in an entire year, according to the Energy Information Administration.

In the wake of becoming the most well-known global warming alarmist, Gore won an Oscar, a Grammy and the Nobel Peace Prize. In addition, Gore saw his personal wealth increase by an estimated $100 million thanks largely to speaking fees and investments related to global warming hysteria.

“Actions speak louder than words, and Gore’s actions prove that he views climate change not as a serious problem, but as a money-making opportunity,” Johnson said. “Gore is exploiting the public’s concern about the environment to line his pockets and enhance his profile.”

The Tennessee Center for Policy Research, a Nashville-based free market think tank and watchdog organization, obtained information about Gore’s home energy use through a public records request to the Nashville Electric Service.

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Another Obama Embarassment: Pastor Pfleger Open His Yapper

A hard left Democrat supporter of Obama was caught with both feet in his mouth.

Cross post from Yahoo News.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ ap/20080530/ ap_on_el_pr/ obama_pfleger

Obama distances himself from another clergyman

By CARYN ROUSSEAU, AP Writer

CHICAGO - Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama said Thursday that he was "deeply disappointed" by a supporter's sermon at his church that mocked Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Michael Pfleger, a [racist] Chicago activist [he's the liberal white guy in the roman collar], also apologized for last Sunday's sermon at Obama's church , in which he said Clinton's eyes welled with tears before the New Hampshire primary because she felt "entitled" to the Democratic nomination and because "there's a black man stealing my show." [These racist supporters of Obama... put 'em before a crowd with a microphone and camera and they develope oral diarrhea. It is part of the pandering culture of the socialist Democrats and their cult of personal destruction.]

In video circulating on the Internet, Pfleger said the former first lady expected to win the nomination before Obama's sudden popularity.

"She just always thought that, 'This is mine. I'm Bill's wife. I'm white.' ... And then, out of nowhere, came 'Hey, I'm Barack Obama." And she said, 'Oh damn, where did you come from? I'm white. I'm entitled. There's a black man stealing my show,'" Pfleger said at Trinity United Church of Christ.

He then went on to parody Clinton, sobbing and wiping his face with a handkerchief.

"She wasn't the only one crying," he said. "There was a whole lot of white people crying."

Obama won the Iowa caucuses, the first contest of the nominating season, in January. Days later, Clinton's eyes brimmed with tears and her voice broke as she talked with New Hampshire voters on the eve of the primary, which she won.

Obama said he was "deeply disappointed" by Pfleger's comments. [...but he did not reject them and distance himself from them.]

[Poor Barack Obama... he spends his life wallowing in a culture of racist hate and self pity, even using it as a tool when he was a union activist to get himself elected to the Illinois legislature, and now he has to try to muzzle his rabid racist supporters as he attempts to seize the top elected position of the US. Being told to shut up is not something that racist hatemongers of Obama's support system take kindly to. We are seeing the side of Obama that they had hoped to keep concealed until it was too late.]

Pfleger, the white pastor of predominantly black Saint Sabina RCC [one of Chicago's church of jesus the homosexual abortionist chapter ministries?] on the city's Southwest side, said he regretted his choice of words. [...from under the bus along with Jeremiah Wright and Obama's mother and grandmother.]

"Divisive and hateful language like that is [the normal mode of speech for racist agitators when speaking to their constituents but is] totally counterproductive in our efforts to bring our party together [in the public spotlight] and have no place at the pulpit or in our politics," the campaign said in a statement. "We are disappointed that Senator Obama didn't specifically reject Father's Pfleger's despicable comments about Senator Clinton, and assume he will do so."

In March, Pfleger invited Obama's embattled former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, to speak at Saint Sabina, embracing Wright in the church.

Obama recently broke with Wright, who had been his longtime pastor, after video of his sermons blaming U.S. policies for the Sept. 11 attacks and his calls of "God damn America" became fixtures on the Internet and cable news networks and created a political problem for the candidate.

Pfleger, known locally as a community activist [agitator] and organizer, was arrested in June 2007 with the Rev. Jesse Jackson during a protest outside of a south suburban Chicago gun shop. The criminal trespass charges were later dropped.

He also has hosted Louis Farrakhan, the controversial leader of the Nation of Islam, at St. Sabina and has called him "a gift from God to a sick, sick world."

[Pfleger, Beelzebub's recruiter to a sick, sick world]

===

Other links on the subject:

http://sultanknish.blogspot.com/2008/05/ obamas-racist-spiritual-advisors-video.html

http://bridgetdgms.wordpress.com/2008/05/29/ more-racism-from-obamas-church/

http://elections.foxnews.com/ 2008/05/29/ at-obamas- church-chicago- minister-says- clinton-felt- white-entitlement/

http://www.webloggin.com/marxist-third- party-father- michael-pfleger-more- bad-news-for- supporters-of- barack-obama/

http://chicagoagainstobama.wordpress.com/2008/05/29/when-obama- disowned-jeremiah-wright-he- turned-to-another- one-of-his-spiritual- advisorsfather-pflegeron-the-same- day-jeremiah-wright-also- leaned-on-pflegerwhos-pfleger/

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A midweek howler - A spammer named Algor

Here is a spam email that struck me funny. This must be how Algore is supporting himself besides his global warming fraud.

The originating IP is here stateside, not overseas.

From: "Phillip A." <opec_info15@yahoo.com> (98.136.44.32 - United States Sunnyvale Yahoo)

Subject: OPEC

Good day,

I want you to patiently read this offer.I am Dr. Phillip Algor. The Assistant to the Head of Delegation to the World Bank in Europe.I am the link man between the Organization For Petroleum Exporting Countries - OPEC and the petroleum sector in the European countries. I also attend OPEC meetings constantly in Vienna, Austria on the auspices of World Bank.Through the sale of our allocated oil quota in OPEC, I was able to make a large sum of money (millions us dollars), which is currently deposited in a Security company in Europe.

I want you to assist me to claim this money as I cannot claim it directly because I am still a civil servant, and the code of conduct bureau forbids me to acquire such amount of money. It is on this basis that I am contacting you for assistance.If interested, claimed documents with which the fund is deposited will be re processed and changed to reflect you as the new beneficiary so that you will be eligible to collect the fund on my behalf.I will give you 30% of the fund for this assistance, while 60% will be for me and 10% will be for expenses that may be incurred on both sides.

I am aware of the international monitoring of all large-scale financial movements after the September 11Th 2001 terrorist attack on America and to avoid any state of financial investigation I will provide a classified clearance paper from the relevant body which will exonerate the money from either drug, money laundered or terrorist related proceeds.Note that This information is also open for scrutiny and I also assure you that there is no risk attached in this transaction.

Please if interested,provide me with your private telephone and fax numbers for easier communication.

Best Regard. Dr. Phillip Algor.

A new Casa D'Ice sign

 

Bill says what he means and means what he says!

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Shake, Rattle, and Roll - An Earthquake in the Great Lakes Region

Lets see if the Algore Faction of Nuttiness claims this was caused by global warming.

According to the USGS <http://pasadena.wr.usgs.gov/shake/cus/> there was an earthquake this morning. The center of the quake was in the area down near the Illinois/Indiana/Kentucky border (Event ID: 851141 19 miles SSE of Olney, Illinois - Lat. N38.50/ Long.W87.90).

Our local News/Talk radio station, WOOD AM 1300, was buzzing about it this morning. I personally did not feel it. My dog, Maggie, came in and woke me up at about 5:30 Am local time. People on the radio station were saying that the deer were unusually active this morning.

As far as I have been able to research, Michigan is not located over or around a fault and we are listed as an area that is unlikely to be affected by earthquakes. The big fault zones are many miles from here, but a sufficiently large magnitude quake may be fealt here.

More information may be added as an update if and when it becomes available.

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Crapitol News Saturday April 5 2008 - Operation Chaos

There is some speculation that Alogore is waiting in the wings to trot on stage and rescue the Democrat Party from destruction. There has been no hint of confirmation from the Hot Air King as he is too busy right now basking in the glory of his Nobel prize.

Without further ado...

 

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Singles Ad

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I' m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting..

Please scroll down ......

 

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society...

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Democrat Angst: How to get Michigan Primary Votes to count?

I have been giving this some thought and have a solution!

They could hold the election through Ticketmaster and celebrate the results with a concert (entertainers and location to be announced).

A few liberal billionaires will love this. They can then directly buy votes for their favorite candidates. The Democrats have been looking for ways to buy votes. Here it is! This is called voting your wallet. Unless Jon Stryker buys them all up, do you think this could cause the lowest vote total in Michigan history?

 

OR

 

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The Prize Patrol got lost again...

...on the way to deliver my big prize and instead gave it to some guy in Omaha.  

  

 

Yuppers... instead of coming by my home, they go to...

Prize Patrol brings million-dollar surprise to Omaha man

http://www.omaha.com/ index.php?u_page= 2798&u_sid= 10271437

On an extraordinary day - Leap Day, Feb. 29 - Jack Genners got an extraordinary surprise - a $1 million check from the Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol.

And I had been practicing for weeks in my best falsetto voice, "Oh Toto, now I really know its true..."

...oops wrong script.  

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A Yooper Hotrod

Here is an image I was sent in email. It sure looks like a fun ride.

 

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The YMCA in San Diego, the slot car track

I have noticed a bit of interest in slot cars recently while looking through my server log, so I am making a photo of the slot car track at the YMCA in downtown San Diego available. This was taken in 1970 and is a black and white photo. I have it posted on my USN page and am posting a link to it here.

Photo taken in 1970 at the Downtown San Diego YMCA. Click on the photo above for the full size image (1454x954).

The photo is owned by James Foley and no other copyright claim may be entered against it as I have the original negative.

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I've had it up to here...

 

...kinda says it all!

Are you have a tough day today?

This was received in email:

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson~ Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer Quality Control Department at Johnson & Johnson."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS

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Sean Hannity's McCain flim-flam

Sean Hannity spent an hour absolutely alienating his listeners. For an hour, he did a flip and supported EVERYTHING that McCain is for. I felt ill. That hour was like a kick in the gut. It was a blind side punch from an unexpected direction. Sean, I was ready to lump you with the likes of Medved, a panderer of the McCain mold, and Tony Snow, whom I thought was a conservative until he became an official Bush apologist for amnesrty.

Sean pulled a Limbaugh on us. Remember when Rush did his famous flop to supporting Slick Willy as an exercise in absurdity, and many listeners bought it. It was so bizarre that I had to listen and marvel that Rush could do it without laughing out loud in the first ten minutes.

Sean, you very nearly lost me as a listener.

I can laugh now but I was FURIOUS!

It is 4:45pm and I am listening to the REAL Conservative Sean Hannity. I'm sorry I doubted you.

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Can you read this?

This was in my email inbox:

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

And check this out:

Count every ' F ' in the following text:

===

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE

SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI

FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH

THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

===

How many?

Wrong! There are 6 -- no joke.

READ IT AGAIN !

Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The brain cannot process 'OF'.

Flurries in Fla., but no crop damage

Algore Hot Air Global Warming Alert!

By ANTHONY MCCARTNEY, AP Writer

cross posted from Yahoo News (Yahoo links are crapola)

TAMPA, Fla. - Flurries fell across the Sunshine State on Thursday, but it appeared that growers were spared the deep freeze they feared would devastate the nation's citrus supply.

Temperatures were not below freezing for long enough to cause widespread damage to Florida's citrus trees, the Florida Citrus Mutual group said. In fact, the cold could benefit some growers because it slows down growth and hardens up citrus trees.

Temps were into the 30s all the way down to Miami. I bet that they are cursing Algore in many different accents today. Hey Algore, where is your global warming?

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NORADSANTA.ORG is getting ready again

It is that time of year again. NORAD is getting ready to track the global flight of Santa.

The web site design changes every year. This year it is entirely in Flash graphics animation, so you better get the latest flash player installed if you want to be able to follow along.

The URL is: http://www.noradsanta.org/

Enjoy!

Santa is making his rounds

Christmas Eve - 24 December 2007 - 6:40 pm

UPDATE: It is now Christmas Eve and Santa is airborn. As I am writing this he is on the Ivory Coast of Africa (Côte d'Ivoire) and getting ready to move on. Log in to the web page as linked above and see where he goes next. In other parts of the world it is already past midnight and is Christmas Day.

6:58 pm - NORAD - Santa is currently visit homes in London, UK. Word is that he has a new Turbo-Sleigh. It is faster than ever this year and may make it hard for the worlds air forces to escort him. Oh well, we can still track him here at NORADSANTA.ORG.

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The Holiday Season is rapidly approaching: Some music and poems

I was over at BlackFive.net where I discovered a song written to be sung to the tune of American Pie, called Ms. American Spy about Valerie Plame. It is a hoot. He said he received it via email (author unknown) and decided to post it. I was looking for music of this sort for the Christmas holiday coming up as a comic relief to the PC crap of the left.

In comments someone passed along the author's page name and url: InTheRightPlace. blogspot. com
where he has a bunch of links to more quality entertainment of the same sort. Check it out!

Cross posted from InTheRightPlace.blogspot.com

===

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Ms. American Spy

posted by Mr. Right

In honor of the momentous events of these last few days, I channeled my inner-moonbat and came up with (dare I say it): the world's very first Fitzmas Carol! A tune destined to be sung by joyous moonbats every Fitzmas Eve as they gather around the tree and exchange gifts! I hope you enjoy it...

Ms. American Spy

(Sung to the tune of Don McLean's American Pie)

A short, short time ago

I can still remember

How the "Plame Game" used to make me smile

And as I read those D-Kos rants

I got a big bulge in my pants

And thought maybe we'd get "Chimpy" for awhile

But then June 12th made me shiver

Fate became an "Indian Giver"

Bad news on the Internet

Precisely what I had fret!

Oh, I remember how I cried

When I thought of Wilson's "outed" bride

Something deep within me fried

The day that Fitzmas died

So don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

Did you see the film Loose Change?

And do you have faith you're not deranged

Though ev'rybody tells you so?

Do you believe in "Downing Street"

The "Memo" that'll get Shrub impeached?

And can you prove Kerry won O-hi-o?

Well, I know that Diebold rigs machines

'Cause the exit polls are all I need

Vote counts are just a ruse

I'd Rather trust CBS News!

I was a lone mid-thirties ne'er do well

In my Mommy's basement on her old-school Dell

But I could have sworn I was in Hell

The day that Fitzmas died

I started singin':

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

For nearly six years, we'd been overthrown

Reading psychotic rants in Rolling Stone

Believing every conspiracy

Will Pitt had to vent his spleen

With a quote he borrowed from Howard Dean

And a scream that came from you and me

Oh, and while Chimp's polls were looking down

Fitz dropped the ball and lost his crown

The Grand Jury was adjourned

No indictment was returned

And while Markos read a book on Marx

Code Pink protested in the park

Neil Young sang dirges full of snark

The day that Fitzmas died

We were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

Bash 'em, smash 'em, gut 'em all and trash 'em

Repukes get off, seems we just can't thrash 'em

All our hopes are fading fast

Nancy's built a House of glass

Those frozen assets could bite our ass

Didn't need that freezer full of cold hard cash

Thought TruthOut's scoop meant Karl Rove's doom

We envisioned his frog-marching gloom

Our cause it would advance

Oh, but we never got the chance

'Cause Leopold's tale was far afield

Those "business hours" refused to yield

Do you recall "Sealed Versus Sealed"?

The day that Fitzmas died

We started singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

Oh, and there we were all in one place

Moonbats lost in cyberspace

With no chads left to count again

So come on, Fitz be nimble, Fitz be quick

Indict some Rethug and make it stick

'Cause indifference is the fascists' only friend

And as I watched him on the news

My lips were clenched 'round some cheap booze

But no drink the store would sell

Could break Bushitler's spell

And as the "Plame Game" died out in the light

To cheers from the "Religious Right"

I saw Freepers laughing with delight

The day that Fitzmas died

We were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

I met a girl who'd popped some 'ludes

And I asked her to improve my mood

But she told me that she was gay

I went down to the DU board

Where I'd read the good news weeks before

But the threads there said the indictment wouldn't play

And in the streets Mother Sheehan screamed

Franken cried, and Al Gore schemed

No "truth to power" spoken

Air America was broken!

And the blogger I admired most

Armando from the Daily Kos

He hopped a Lear Jet for the coast

The day that Fitzmas died

And they were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly

This'll be the day donkeys fly

They were singing:

Don't cry, Ms. American Spy

We'll get Libby for his fibby

And then Cheney will fry

And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye

Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly!

******************************

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2008 Democratic National Convention

I received this in my email this weekend. They say that humor contains some truth.

===

2008 Democratic National Convention -- Schedule of Events

by Larry Lee

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning

7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N.

7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm ~ How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning - Barney Frank presiding

8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm ~ Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ~ "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn

11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm ~ How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean

12:15 am ~ "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

Larry Lee

Hate me, if you must, Love me if you can,

You may not like where I am going, but,

You will always know, where I stand.

I AM A CONSERVATIVE! !!

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The Turtle Fence in Michigan

History lesson: Dumbocrat Jenny Granholm coasts through 4 years as governor with deficits. In 2006 she conceals the fact and gets re-elected. In 2007 she suddenly decides that she has done a shitty job of governing Michigan since she has been unsuccessfull in forcing tax increases the first 4 years. The "Close Down Government" bludgeon used by Dumbocrats gets dusted off and hauled out. She doesnt realize that some of us feel that less government is a GOOD thing and a government not in session is a government that can do us no harm. Jenny says "I inherited a deficit". She just won the election as governor from.... Jennifer Granholm, so Jennifer Granholm left her a deficit to fix! Hmmmm....

Recently, Democrat Governor Jenny Granholm was willing to shut down the engine of state in Michigan to force tax increases on the citizens of Michigan. She got her 1.5 BILLION dollar increase in tax on income and services. Now she wants to spend tax money on a "TURTLE FENCE". Governor Granholm has adopted an "If it moves, tax it" policy to determine what will get slewered by the new services tax. Now she has 1.5 billion of new revenues to play politics with. Anyone who believes she will use it to lower the deficit when she can instead start new spending is very stupid or just gullible. Here is a letter from Congressman Pete Hoekstra.

Hoekstra Releases Letter to Governor Granholm on Turtle Fence

Washington, Oct 24 -

U.S. Rep. Pete Hoekstra, R-Holland, released the following letter mailed to Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm about the turtle fence under construction along U.S. 31 in Muskegon County:

Oct. 23, 2007

The Honorable Jennifer Granholm

Governor

The State of Michigan

P.O. Box 30013

Lansing, MI 48909

Dear Governor Granholm:

In light of the fiscal crisis in which our state currently finds itself, and particularly after the massive tax increase adopted to fund state government, I am disturbed by the Michigan Department of Transportation choosing to spend $318,000 in taxpayer dollars for construction of a 4-foot-tall fence to protect turtles.

The fence will run along a stretch of highway that lies in the congressional district I represent, and despite my being aware of the remedy the fence seeks to provide, I am alarmed at the lack of prioritization demonstrated by this allocation of funding.

It is not the concept of the project, rather it is the message sent by the state that concerns me. By passing a massive tax increase, I believe that Lansing has asked the citizens of Michigan to sacrifice without first holding itself accountable and challenging itself to exercise some degree of creativity with the state’s budget. By spending $318,000 dollars on a fence to protect turtles, the citizens have effectively been told that Lansing is indifferent to their sacrifice.

At a time of such limited resources, I believe that MDOT should prioritize the allocation of federal dollars on projects that impact the movement of people or commercial products, rather than spend money on projects that make sense when times are good.

Thus, I am writing to request that you convene a working group to study how the State can better allocate funds from its budget. I am willing to volunteer my time and effort to help determine how to more effectively spend federal dollars coming into the state, and I believe others would be prepared to do the same.

As you know, approximately one-third of Michigan’s budget comes from federal funding. Yet, at no time have I nor any of my federal counterparts – to my knowledge – been approached about providing greater flexibility with the allocation of federal dollars. Cooperation amongst all parties who care about Michigan is critical in a state whose unemployment rate is 63 percent above the national average.

I have begun exploring options available – including introducing legislation – to provide states in dire straits, like Michigan, with the flexibility to help residents and businesses rebound. In fact, I fully support relaxing the restrictions placed on federal funds if Lansing bureaucrats would demonstrate some sensibility in prioritizing the state’s fiscal situation.

We must examine every opportunity to determine how we can help the Michigan economy bounce back.

I look forward to your response and cooperation.

Sincerely,

Pete Hoekstra

Member of Congress

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FEMA's counterfeit journalists

Cross posted from Yahoo News. No permalink because Yahoo links are crapola.

The Main Stream Media is collectively birthing a cow over a new FEMA faux pas.

FEMA apologizes for fake "reporters"

By Randall Mikkelsen - Al-Reuters [The infamous news faking agency!]

WASHINGTON (Al-Reuters) - The main U.S. disaster-response agency apologized on Friday for having its employees pose as reporters in a news briefing on California's wildfires that no journalists attended. [note: Where were the White House Press Corp and the reporters that are attached to the president's hind quarters like lamprey?]

The Federal Emergency Management Agency, still struggling to restore its image after the bungled handling of Hurricane Katrina in 2005, issued the apology after The Washington Post published details of the Tuesday briefing.

"We can and must do better, and apologize for this error in judgment," FEMA deputy administrator Harvey Johnson, who conducted the briefing, said in a statement. "Our intent was to provide useful information and be responsive to the many questions we have received."

No actual reporter attended the hastily called news conference in person, although some camera crews arrived late to film incidental shots, officials said.

[note: Awwwwwww... lets have a big collective mob-sob for the MSM!]

A spokeswoman for Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who has authority over FEMA, called the incident "inexcusable and offensive to the secretary."

[note: REALLY! I find Michael Jerkoff's handling of border security to be extremely offensive to our sovereignty and homeland security.]

FEMA is reviewing its press procedures and will make changes to ensure they are "straightforward and transparent".

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